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How to Handle Different Parenting Styles in Family

by on 12/07/2013 3820

Being a parent is one of the toughest stages of anyone’s life. Although some may seem like they have the natural knack for it, many parents struggle to make sense of things at least the first five years of being a parent.

It is common in today’s age to have both parents working to make a living. Higher cost of living and price hikes on almost everything caused us to resort to working days on end to earn enough for the family.

Due to this, we each have our own parenting style when it comes to raising our kids because we tailor our parenting style according to our lifestyles. Some of us seem to manage time really well, juggling between career and kids while some of us still are desperate to find for the right way to handle parenting while working.

Having to face parenting styles that contradict to ours can add to the stress. This may be due to where we place our kids while we are working like at a nursery, daycare or a relative’s house. The caretakers of our children have their own ideas of parenting and sometimes these ideas may not suit us or that we plainly don’t agree with them.

Here are some tips when it comes to handling different parenting styles by your partner, someone else in your family or by someone who is taking care of your child:

1.  Communicate – As with almost any problem, voicing out your concerns with the person you’re having trouble with is the best way. You can let your partner, your relative or caretaker knows what your preferences are when it comes to taking care of your child. For your relative or child’s caretaker, you need to make them understand that as a parent, even though you can’t take care of your child while you’re at work, there are still certain things you prefer done your way.

If you do not agree with your spouse’s parenting style, it’s always best to talk to them when both of you are relaxed, like after the children are all asleep. Do not go against your spouse’s parenting style in front of the children because this will only hurt your spouse’s image as a parent and undermine his or her authority on them.

Remember to be open and not defensive when the other party voice out their feelings or opinions. Consensus can be reached when both parties are open and mature. Always make it clear that you are not against the person personally, just a few things they do you don’t agree with.

2.  Expectations – It is a good idea to set what your expectations are with your spouse, relative or child’s caretaker. This way, they will be aware of your parenting style and will try to stick to it or cooperate with you by applying their own parenting style but still meeting your expectations. It’s also important to have realistic expectations because parenting is about instincts and not about what is being written in the books

3.  Compromise – There will be times where you can’t reach an agreement to get everyone to follow your parenting style. So compromising with others will be the best solution because you have to keep in mind that the most important thing is the wellbeing and safety of your child. As long others’ parenting styles are not physically or mentally hurting your child, you can afford to make allowances when others’ parenting styles are different from yours.

4.  Experiment – Parenting is about trial and error. It wouldn’t hurt for you to try other parenting styles because you will learn about what works best for you and your child. When you make allowances to try others’ parenting style, not only you expand your experience as a parent, but you also acknowledge others’ effort in raising your child

5.  Accept – When you feel that you are not able to adapt the parenting styles of others, it will be wise to accept their style while they are taking care of your child. You will probably feel you have extra work cut out for you in enforcing your own parenting style on your child especially if your child spends a good deal of his days under someone else’s care but by accepting others parenting style can create less stress and maintain a good relationship between you and your child’s caretaker.

If your parenting style is different from your spouse’s, then accepting his or her style will be the best way in having a mutual understanding of doing the best for your child. As long as the both of you do not downplay each other’s role as a parent or go against each other in front of the children, accepting your partner’s parenting style will be beneficial not only for your child but also your relationship.