Stop telling your sons these 10 things: raising boys the right way

Women empowerment, the #metoo movement, fighting gender discrimination – the world is changing. A large part of this change depends on you, mums, and how you raise your boys. If you want your son to grow up well-rounded, respectful, and kind to everyone, then you should stop telling your sons these 10 things!

If you care about your child’s development, then you need to stop telling your sons these things!

1. “Act tough”

A lot of people think of men as tough, and women, emotional. That’s why you often see dads telling their sons to “suck it up” or “act tough.”

However, the truth couldn’t be any more different. It’s totally normal for some men to be sensitive, while some women are tough. People are just inherently different, and it has nothing to do with gender whatsoever.

2. “You’re acting like a girl”

What does it mean to “act like a girl?” If you think really hard about it, young boys and girls essentially have the same traits, habits, and interests.

Telling your son that he’s “acting like a girl” is also usually said as an insult. But there’s nothing wrong with being a girl.

As parents, it’s important to teach equality to children at a very young age, and not make their children think that one gender is superior to the other.

3. “You need to be more manly”

What does being “a man” mean? For the most part, it means that boys should grow up to fit the stereotype of a traditional man.

But these days, there’s really no such thing. Men come in all shapes and sizes, each with their own unique personalities. Instead, teach your son to embrace himself and to be proud of who he is.

4. “You have to be big and strong”

Again, this one plays to the stereotype of the “big and strong” man. Honestly, not all men are big and strong – that depends on their genes mostly. Parents should be proud of their sons no matter what, and not force them to adhere to an outdated stereotype of what men should be.

5. “That’s not something for boys”

You usually hear this when little boys start playing with “girl” toys. But what is wrong with young boys playing with dolls? Or cooking sets for that matter?

Toys are toys, and kids love to play. It doesn’t matter if they’re playing with action figures, or dolls, what matters is that kids are having fun and they’re learning.

The same goes for clothes, or colours. Who ever said that boys can’t wear pink, or the so-called “feminine” colours? If a little boy wants to wear a pink shirt, then who are we to stop them from doing so?

6. “Do you want people to think you’re a girl?”

This is another thing that some parents tell their sons. And if you’re one of those parents, then please, stop telling your sons this phrase.

There is nothing wrong with being a girl, and parents should steer clear of outdated notions of gender norms.

Acceptance and understanding are what kids need, not judgment from their parents.

7. “Boys don’t cry”

It’s totally fine for boys to cry. If a young boy feels sad, then it’s okay for them to express their feelings by crying. This is normal.

Validating a child’s feelings is important, and crying is a way for them to be in touch with their emotions. And parents should always validate their child’s feelings.

8. “This will turn you into a man”

The only thing that turns boys into men is the natural process of growing up. There’s no prescribed behaviour that makes a boy into a man. Saying this phrase would only make kids feel bad about themselves if they don’t live up to what a “man” should be.

9. “Boys will be boys”

Telling kids that “boys will be boys” is basically teaching young men to not be responsible for their actions.

If a boy does something wrong, don’t let it pass because “boys will be boys.” It only creates a culture that allows men to do whatever they want, without any repercussions or responsibility. 

10. “Are you a girl?”

Stop telling your sons this phrase. This makes it seem that being a girl is a bad thing, when in reality it’s not.

Not only does this degrade your son, but it also degrades women in general. Calling someone a girl should never ever be an insult.

Source: Psychology Today

This article was first published on theAsianParent.