How Should You Treat Your Children?

by theAsianparent . on 18/12/2020 1951

An online post by a prominent blogger, Dan Pearce, has shined the spotlight on his opinion about the relationship of fathers and kids and how to treat children. His post has since drawn more than half a million shares on Facebook and over a thousand shares on Twitter.

"Treat your children with respect" was the underlying message that Dan hoped to deliver to all fathers. Despite the relative simplicity of his message, it makes one wonder what exactly did he say that resonated with so many people, making it go viral online?

In the post, Dan explains how witnessing a father ignoring his young son and reprimanding him in public provoked himself to write such a heated post on how to treat children with respect. Dan begged fathers to appreciate their fortune and emphasises the notion that fathers should all treat children with respect.

So how exactly do you treat your children with respect? The main points of the three page long post can be summarised as follows:

Parents should always encourage and support their children as this would greatly affect their self-esteem.
Always show your child affection. Physical contact such as a hug or a kiss can go a long way in building a strong bond with your child.
Never vent your anger or frustration on your children. If you treat your children with respect, they won't fear you.
Don't crush your child's dreams.
Nobody is immune to making mistakes and your child is certainly no exception. Do not reprimand your children when they do something wrong, as doing so could crush their spirits. Children often become whatever parents keep telling them they will become.
No matter how busy you are, try to find time to play with your children.
Constantly show your children how much you love them.

Respect for children

Dan certainly raised some very strong points with regards to parenting and the majority of the comments published seem to agree with his stand. However, what caught my attention was the arrogance of the post and how Dan believes that his method was the only correct way to care for a child. This can best be exemplified by how Dan states that:

"If one child has a better life because something in my words stirred their father to step up their game, then it was worth every ounce of begging and pleading with you to share this with others, of which I am inevitably going to be guilty."

Asian cultures generally place emphasis on children treating their parents with respect, but Dan's message seem to be the direct opposite. While showering your children with love and support can reap some benefits, it may backfire in a number of ways as well. The saying "spare the rod, spoil the child" certainly comes to mind here.

Dan's abhorrence to punishments may result in his young son growing up to become spoilt due to a lack of boundaries and discipline from a young age. Furthermore, while you should not put your children down for no reason, sometimes criticism is needed. Children are often unrealistic and naive and it is quite common for them to harbour unrealistic aspirations. For example, if your child has no talent at singing but insists on pursuing a singing career and thus neglects his studies, do you still continue to encourage him?

This article was first published on theAsianParent.