Parenting Phrase Heard at Daycare Sparks Debate Over Children’s Emotions | KiddyNews

An Australian mother has sparked an online discussion about how adults respond to children’s disappointment after her four-year-old repeated a traditional parenting phrase heard at daycare: “You get what you get, and you don’t get upset.”

Megan Watson, from Adelaide, said the phrase made her reflect on her parenting approach and whether it aligned with the growing emphasis on helping children recognise and express their emotions. Her TikTok video questioning the saying’s relevance attracted widespread attention from parents and teachers.

Balancing Feelings with Boundaries

Parenting educator Gen Muir addressed the debate on Today Extra, explaining that many millennial parents are moving away from expressions that dismiss or minimise children’s feelings.

However, she said children also need to learn that while their emotions are valid, not every behaviour is acceptable and they cannot always have what they want.

“We’ve got to walk that line where we teach kids that all feelings are welcome, but not all behaviours,” Muir said.

She suggested that adults acknowledge children’s disappointment while maintaining reasonable boundaries. For example, a child may feel upset when screen time ends, but the agreed limit should still stand.

Muir offered an alternative response to the traditional phrase: “I know you wanted this to be different, it makes sense that you’re upset.”

This approach recognises a child’s feelings without changing the decision simply to avoid disappointment.

Working With Educators To Support Children

Muir also noted that educators may rely on familiar phrases when managing classrooms with as many as 30 children. She encouraged parents and educators to work together to help children develop resilience and a greater ability to cope with frustration.

Setting healthy boundaries at home can support this process. Allowing children to experience disappointment in everyday situations gives them opportunities to understand and manage difficult emotions.

Rather than relying on shame or punishment, Muir advocated an approach that combines firmness with kindness.

She explained that when children are allowed to experience and process their emotions, they can gradually become better equipped to manage them as they grow.

The discussion highlights an important distinction in guiding young children: acknowledging their feelings does not mean giving in to every demand. Instead, adults can help children feel heard while consistently teaching them boundaries, patience and emotional resilience.

Source:

Nine – “‘Is this a thing?’: Mum’s shock as four-year-old repeats harsh parenting phrase heard at daycare”

Thoughtfully adapted by KiddyNews. Keeping parents and educators informed with the latest ECCE developments from Malaysia and beyond.